


joystick

by teenyappletea (whimsyappletea)



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Blow Jobs, Drabble, F/M, Ghost Sex, Hand Jobs, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Masturbation in Bathroom, Mild Kink, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Humor, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 04:12:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7028053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsyappletea/pseuds/teenyappletea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>len has a secret, and it happens every time he’s horny. —lenrin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	joystick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> happy birthday, **piri**! this technically doesnt count as a drabble anymore for me since its above 1k, but oh well itll stay here on teeny thank u very much pfpfft
> 
> (inspired by a reddit comment by _Squid_Master_Flex_.)

.  
.  
.

**joystick**   
_len has a secret, and it happens every time he’s horny._

.

Len has a secret, and it happens every time he’s horny.

It all started about half a year ago when Len first moved into that dirt-cheap, rundown apartment two streets over from his university campus – okay, no, that’s not quite it. Perhaps it all _really_ started when Len decided to wank off in the bathroom one morning to rid himself of A Boner That Wouldn’t Go Away.

And today is no exception.

“ _Honestly_ ,” he wheezes as he scrabbles frantically at the rim of the toilet seat, breathing shallowly under the onslaught of quick, teasing tugs and long, firm strokes. It feels good, real fucking good, but it might feel a whole lot better _if he knew what was touching it_.

That’s right, kids, that’s the big secret: something invisible is touching his junk.

_But Len_ , you might ask. _How do you not know what’s groping your dick? Surely you can’t be that blind(ed by the pleasure), can you?_

Yeah, well, he may be a hot-blooded, hormone-fuelled horndog at best and possibly a kinky pervert at worst, but he’s not _that_ bad – and besides, the explanation is pretty simple: he just can’t see what’s touching his peen.

But not seeing it doesn’t mean he can’t feel it – and boy, is he _feeling it_ , alright.

“You – you tease...” Len bites his lip and screws his eyes shut, brain drawing a blank on everything else except the warm, small fingers pumping his shaft at an excruciatingly slow pace. God, first the slap across the face two months back, then the hard squeeze to the balls last week – this ghost just can’t decide if it wants to fuck with him or _fuck him_.

“Can’t you – _haa_ – do a bit more?”

.

Rin slits her gaze at him from her perch on the floor. _God_ , this boy had no shame.

She hadn’t meant to jerk him off at first, not really – but she’d been stuck in this dirty old bathroom for at least thirty years now, no thanks to her stupidly slipping on a stray dildo and smacking her head against a loose pipe and accidentally killing herself in the process.

( _Here lies Shimoda Rin_ , her tombstone probably reads. _Died doing what she loved most: stroking her own coochie in the shower._ )

But she digresses. The point is, she’d been so sick of being trapped in a stupid place after a stupid death and seeing a stupid guy doing the same stupid thing she did and possibly getting himself killed in the same stupid goddamn manner just _drove her up the wall_.

So she slapped him. Square across the face.

The first surprise was discovering she could _actually_ slap him rather than pass through him like she’d initially expected. Apparently a ghost like her is completely invisible to the rest of the living, breathing human population – but she _can_ by all means pimp-slap someone to space and they won’t even know who did it. How delightful.

The second surprise was realising afore-mentioned pimp-slap did absolutely nothing to deter the kid – he just blinked, looked around a bit, gave a little _oh-well-must-be-the-wind_ kind of shrug and _continued_. That’s right, he didn’t give two _shits_ about getting slapped out of nowhere by seemingly thin air.

What the hell.

And Rin just _stood there_ , gaping, as this strangely handsome blond finished beating his tubesteak and she contemplated the mixed bag of feelings ranging from _‘god I just touched a man while he was masturbating and it might’ve turned him on further instead’_ to _‘this is so wrong but I’m already in too deep so what do I do now’_.

Perhaps the most logical solution would be to just bail from this whole incident and pretend it never happened in the first place, but Rin wasn’t logical – hell, she was already dead, anyway – so she did the next best thing she could think of to stop him in his tracks:

She grabbed his peen and shook it out like a joystick.

Kind of like what she’s doing now, actually, except this time she’s switching things up – and it’s not because Rin wants to make him feel _good_ , or anything; on the contrary, she’s happy to see him in pain.

From _pleasure_.

.

Is it really considered masturbation if he’s not even the master of his own meat-stick right now?

A valid question, considering the circumstances, but it has no valid answers – all available blood is rushing down instead of up, and Len’s feeling nothing short of light-headed as something incredibly warm envelops his dick without warning.

“ _Jesus_ ,” he nearly shouts, but manages to mask it with a needy whimper just in time. His roommate Fukase is studying for an exam outside, no need to alarm him with unholy screams and make the poor redhead burst in on some weird ghost giving him _head_ , of all things.

(But technically Fukase wouldn’t see anything else other than his roommate’s legs spread eagle on the toilet seat with his penis hiked high to the sky... but eh, that’s already pretty mind-scarring in itself, Len supposes.)

The ghost is totally giving him sass for complaining, though – he can feel the smug waves of _‘well, you were the one who wanted more’_ bouncing off the walls of the bathroom. If he weren’t so deliriously close to the edge, he’d be protesting by now.

Len curls his toes and lifts his hips towards the invisible source of pleasure, groaning and writhing and panting as it moves up and down his length, teasing his balls and sucking softly at his tip, humming something inaudible and creating vibrations throughout his shaft – _nngh_ –

“G-guh, I, I – I can’t, oh god, I – _fuck – !_ ”

His lips part in a silent gasp; with his frame quaking and his back arching, he rides out the rest of what’s got to be the best damn orgasm he’s had since, like, _ever_.

“Ugh, you could’ve at least been a _little_ cleaner about this...”

Len stills.

.

Rin grimaces.

Gotta hand it to the professional porn-stars, their clean-up crews must be fantastic to keep them pretty and pristine after maybe ten-thousand money shot compilations – she’s only had one and already her hair is clumping together and her face feels gross as hell.

The things you do for kind-of-cute strangers who jack off in the bathroom you reside in.

As she tries to rid herself of the sticky substance the best she can, Rin glances up. The kid looks downright floored, complete with huge anime-esque eyes and all. “What?” she quips, knowing full well that he can’t hear her. “Never seen a ghost covered in cum before?”

“ _Never_ ,” he splutters.

Oh, well, she can’t blame him – wait a second.

Rin pauses mid-wipe, snapping her head up to stare at him with equally huge anime-esque eyes.

“What the – _you can see me?!_ ”

.  
.  
.

**Author's Note:**

>  **disclaimer:** i do not own Vocaloid.


End file.
